I Dislike Dani Alves

I have very few people in the world of football that I genuinely have dislike/disliked.

At the top of that short list is Dani Alves. This has absolutely nothing to do with his ability as a footballer. He is a world class right wingback, true to the traditional Brazilian mold of flank defenders. When it comes to his character however, I say it loud and proud, Dani Alves is a huge douchebag. Just a straight up, piece of shit, asshole.

Throughout his entire career in Europe, he has been a teatrero, and he is bloody good at it. He is a chronic diver, a shirt puller, dirty tackler, and a maker of cheap shots. Most importantly, he possesses the personality trait which I despise the most in a man of the footballing world: Lack of responsibility. He dives so shamelessly and always denies it, he never accepts responsibility for the fouls that he commits (I can literally only recall a single occasion in which he walked away from a shitty tackle without arguing with the ref), and he is a massive hypocrit by blaming opposition and refs for a bad performance.

I am sick and tired of his dirty antics that constantly ruins competitive fixtures, and I rue the fact that the likes of him tarnishes the reputation of this game that I love so very much. I have never ever wished misfortune on a footballer in my life. But in this case, I will make a glad exception. This little shit sent Pepe off in Champions League last year with an oscar worthy performance that made Daniel Day Lewis look like Keanu Reeves, and I wish Pepe will return the favor at some point this year. Better yet, Alves has always wanted to come to the Premiership. So I hope he does soon and pulls his shenanigans against a team like Stoke, because I swear to god my boy Ryan Shawcross will give him such a tackle that will make him scared of anything resembling grass for the rest of his life.