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Monthly Archives: August 2011

Goal.com/Nick Price’s What We Learned This Week

WWLTW is a regular article I read because Nick Price can be really funny. While this week’s edition is not his best work, here are three my favorite quotes:

“Manchester City – Carlos Tevez stays and forms a lethal partnership with Mario Balotelli down the darts club.”

“West Brom – Roy Hodgson will terrify fans at Anfield by sitting in the home dugout when he takes the Baggies to Liverpool.”

“Police receive a call from a Tony Pulis of Stoke reporting a daylight robbery as Harry Redknapp demands £18m for Peter Crouch and Wilson Palacios.”

I look forward to 38 weeks of WWLTW!

 
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Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Fresh off the morning press

United management now have their first team affairs in order with Ji-Sung Park finally signing a late contract extension. Park’s agency reports to the Korean press that the terms are at 125,000 guaranteed pounds per week before goal incentives and other performance bonuses. I love the idiots in the press who speculated that our ultimate big-game player, whose started almost every Champions League knockout fixture and big 4 game (with MOTM awards aplenty), would somehow be elsewhere next season. After decades of viewership, people still don’t realize the beauty of Sir Alex’s man management and rotation policy. With this approximate 35% raise, Park is now the third highest earner at Old Trafford behind Wayne Rooney and Rio Ferdinand. BOOOOOYA. Good work Mr. Manager.

It seems David Gill and Sir Alex have had enough with Sneijder’s wage demands. 250,000 pounds tax free at Inter vs 170,000 at old trafford before England taxes is indeed a big rift to cover. I’d hoped that Nike would step in and offer more assistance, but I guess United’s playmaker for the upcoming season will be Clever Tom. He is so clever.

I’m convinced that Wenger will insist that Fabregas will stay at Emirates this coming season and start against Newcastle on Saturday even when the Spaniard is doing his arrival press conference in Catalunya, showing off his Barcelona shirt. His to-be-teammates have taken it upon themselves to one-up the media with their incessant twittering.

The Scousers have finally made a worthwhile signing in Jose Enrique. It seems that Newcastle is in a downward spiral with selling off its finest and yet adding none. Once Cheik Tiote leaves, Newcastle will also leave the premiership. I hope Mike Ashley knows what the hell he’s doing. Toon fans have a right to be angry at the rift between the owner and his players, especially in a season where they are expect to return to the solid mid-upper table club status they once had.

 
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Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Über Mario

Four years ago, the world talked about Zuppa Mario when a certain 16 year old nutcase lit up Serie A.

"Hi, my name is Mario, and I'm a psychopath."

When Dortmund’s Shinji Kagawa injured his foot last year, an 18 year old, uncharacteristically pint-sized German stepped in his shoes and made the position his for the rest of the year.In his coming out party against Brazil, he ran the show with much style against an unsuspecting Brazil side. Mario Götze is a name people will hear about much more frequently this year. Watch out for Über Mario in this upcoming Bundesliga, and in the mean time, enjoy this link!

This video is of course made by Alex7Greek, and it is merely a link on my part. No credit whatsoever taken.

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Klinsmann is here

US Fans, Klinsmann has landed.

Expectations were kept low, and thankfully so. It was a friendly, it was his first game, and the US camp had three days of practice. As I expected, the game was fairly painful to watch. In general, I was confused about the formation, but that can’t be blamed on the coach entirely. It was a constant, nebulous shift between a 4-4-1-1 and 4-5-1 Flat, and I suspect Donovan’s midfield instincts to drop back too far caused this confusion. But this is understandable. No team can have a 100% understanding of a coach’s formation after three days.

A back four consisting of the experienced (perhaps too much so) Cherundolo and Bocanegra, supplemented by relative newcomers Castillo and Orozco were poor. Where effort was apparent, composure was lacking. A lapse of concentration lead to a situation where Michael “MarsAttacks” Bradley was somehow left to manmark Mexico’s frontman, when by all tactical rules it should have been a defender. Klinsmann expects a certain level of comfort on the ball from his defenders, having inherited the mantra of his German football upbringing. I know he will want his defenders to be able to play the ball out in their own right instead of hoofing it up in panic. This is my own conjecture, take it with whatever amount of salt, but I think he called up US’s latino contingent to play in the back four, as they represent a group that is typically trained from a younger age than their white/african-american teammates who will get serious about soccer during middle school. I don’t think that necessarily worked out, judging by Castillo and Orozco’s fumbling and bumbling, but I have good reason to believe that there is talent in the MLS that can be found to this end.

What troubled me more was the midfield. Predictable passing patterns led to Beckerman and Jermaine Jones spraying the ball out to Jose Torres and Bradley, who then didn’t do anything meaningful with it other than drop it back to Castillo or Cherundolo. A 4-5-1, which the US displayed most, by design works best through an exploitation of the middle – two destroyers having a competent trequartista (if 4-5-1 triangular), or a advanced playmaker (if 4-5-1 Flat) that can receive the ball and is comfortable with locating pass options in three direction: either wing or to the target man. What broke down yesterday was that the Jones and Beckerman, the two defensive mids, saw no such option and either passed to the wing directly or booted it up to Buddle. When the wings received the ball, which was roughly 70% of the time, they had no option but to pass it back into their own half, allowing the Mexicans to press all game.

A breath of fresh air came in the latter stages of the second half with the introductions of Break Shea, Robbie Rogers, and Juan Agudelo. While they are still dreadfully immature in decision making, Juan Agudelo much more so than Brek Shea and Robbie Rodgers, they injected energy into the US squad with their direct style. I firmly believe the US could have taken that game had there been 2 better passing decisions by Juan Agudelo, who seems to suffer from a common disease that dribbling frontmen have. It’s called not-passing-until-you-absolutely-have-no-choice-but-to-itis. Robbie Rodgers stood out to me as someone who made intelligent runs, and while he many not be as high-profile than the other two, he was surprisingly the more mature and tactically aware. It was a downright outrage when he was hauled down by Gerrardo Torrado and the referee inexplicably showed a yellow card rather than a red. In my eyes, he was the best substitute out of the three, with assisting Brek Shea as a very close second. Brek Shea did very well to make an unselfish assist, but he always leaves room for concern with his Berbatov-esque style and general lack of urgency/drive. All too familiar scenes with missed short passes and an inability to recover immediately against the right back continued to bug me.

In any case, overall it was not as bad as I thought, and it certainly was hopeless as it was last month in Pasadena. Change is perhaps what the US needs, and Jurgen Klinsmann is a coach that will strive for attacking football from his players. In six months time, more games under him, and a full squad of America’s finest, we may just see a better US team.

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

My last tournament before EPL season

South Korea’s U-20 Run was ended last night on penalties 7-6. And what a way to end.

Before the game, I had resigned myself to thinking that we were fucked. Spain were killing in this tournament, 3 straight wins against Costa Rica, Ecuador, and Australia, where they had scored 11 and conceded just 2. Their starting lineup against us:

Sergio Canales (Real Madrid bench)
Oriol Romeu (Chelsea bench)
Jordi Amat (Espanyol starter)
Marc Bartra (Barcelona bench)
Cristian Tello (Barcelona B starter)
Antonio Luna (Sevilla bench)
Hugo Mallo (Celta starter)
Dani Pacheco (Liverpool bench)
Rodrigo Moreno (Benfica bench)
Koke (Athletico Madrid starter)

Against what could be a La Liga team on its own, an assortment of Korean university students put in the best performance by a team representing South Korea that I have seen in recent years. Against professional players of the highest level, our college kids were passing them, dribbling them, faking them, nutmegging them, and I must admit, I could not believe what I was witnessing.

In the end, a young winger missed his penalty kick and Spain won the kicks 7-6. I was fairly upset until I saw the kid collapse like a dying star, bawling uncontrollably, face in both hands. When you see that, its hard to become anything but sympathetic and protective. What was touching was that his teammates from the bench ran over and comforted him in a massive huddle. And then the Spanish team ran over as well.

The poor kid apologized to the nation from his social network website.

What I’ve learned this last 12 months from the myriad of international tournaments, is that we often focus too much on the senior men’s teams, as though they are all that matters. In some ways its true, but its tournaments like the u19’s, the u20s, the women’s world cups, when you actually more genuine passion from the players in contrast to the shenanigans of modern professional footballers. In times where an entire national team will refuse to play the world cup due to infighting, or more shoving and arguing than football in a Champions League game, its refreshing to see the beautiful game played with heart from hungry teams that have no interest in anything but doing their best.

Many thought the Women's World Cup displayed better gameplay

And with that, my last tournament before the new EPL season ended. And I must say, I am satisfied. If we had to be knocked out by a team, it was tournament favorites Spain. And those kids did me mighty proud with that scintillating performance. I think I was able to come to this kind of closure when I read what Marca and AS had named the South Korea U-20 team: “Pesadilla.”

Don't worry young sons of Korea. You are already better than the fucktards that lost to Japan.

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

International Friendlies

Happy International Friendlies/Useless Player Injury Day/Wenger’s Worst Day!! Unlike most Americans that have had their spirits lifted by the bounce back of the Dow, I’m having a terrible soccer morning. In the first international friendly of international friendly day, Korea lost to Japan for the first time in like a decade. Our coach is brainless, defense shoddier (i dont care if its not a real word) than usual, our key players are ill/broken/training for epl opening day, and Japan decided to hit three of the most infuriating fifa goals.

Later in the day, my young tigers are waiting to face a 50/50 mix of la masia and canterano trainees in Colombia. I guess the ball is round and you never know, but it seems like Spain is conquistador-ing at all age levels these days and the young roja are certainly imposing opponents.

To distract me from a demoralizing national scene today, I have decided to focus on the season previews of the EPL. King Keegan does his own preview of the season there and it seems he’s still butt hurt from when Sir Alex drowned Newcastle that one season. For those of you who remember, Keegan had said that he would love to kick United’s ass (view clip below), but of course that didn’t happen, because that can never happen. Apparently this stubborn chip on his shoulder has deluded him into thinking that our retarded neighbors will take the title this year. When will these idiots ever learn?

I also look forward to a US national squad under Jurgen Klinsmann that will play Mexico tonight. I’m still highly upset that he hasn’t called up “Big Omar” Gonzalez and instead is relying on Tim”godawful”Ream. Nonetheless, it would be nice to see fresh look to the USMNT.

 
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Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

So what’s up?

Since I last wrote…Fergie finally knocked the Scouse bastards off their perch, lost yet another European Cup to the logical impossibility that is El Messiah. Pretty much business as usual these days at Manchester United. Whatever. We got that 19th title. That’s why most of us Red Devils have been watching for years hasn’t it?

More significantly, we lost the pillars that have defined this club for decades. First to go was Gary Neville, born Red, retired Red, ever reliable. Then, Edwin Van Der Sar, our Dutch giant that finally replaced that seemingly irreplaceable Danish Giant. Lastly, the one who I was most devastated about, Old Trafford’s finest, our one and only ginger prince, Paul Scholes. I thought I was feeling pain when I saw Becks, Butt, and Phil leave. But these guys retired here, and that made it so much worse. But I won’t get further into that as I have mourned weeks for them and thinking more about it will only depress me further.

In brighter news, we acquired the future of Manchester last year in Javier “can score with my ass hair” Hernandez, Chris “swear I’m only 21″ Smalling and Anders“whothefuckisthisguy”Lindgaard. We banished Bebe“yeah, i’m really just a hobo”nolastname to Turkey, and released Oweni can run now, check youtubeHargreaves. Sick of these middle names in quotations yet? Cuz I’m not done yet. Don’t worry, it’ll catch you by surprise.

This summer the Glazers really showed that they could give a rats ass about our $1.5 billion debt, and Sir Alex brought in Phil Jones and Ashley Young. Good signings, I’m really happy about them. Having the Young Lions center half pairing in the same team is genius. Leave it up to Sir Alex to make that happen. Ashley Young’s arrival was inevitable, but it remains to be seen whether an agreeable rotation to all the ambitions of our wingers can be created. Giggs and Park have the experience and effectiveness, Nani has our x-factor, Valencia our consistency, and now Ashley “Ihaveachick’sname” Young. We’ll see what happens but I am nervous about this.

In the 15 odd transfers seasons I have seen as a fan, this has proven to be the most annoying. At some point, Sandro Rosell needs to pay 15 million pounds to own Fabregas’s waist to legs, while Wenger can keep his head to abdomen. That’s probably the only acceptable deal at this point. While the French Voyeur/Pedo continues to pleasure himself with how many tween wingers he can stockpile before August 30th, Chris Samba will stay at Blackburn, Gary Cahill at Bolton, and the Gunners will not qualify for Europa League at the end of the upcoming season.

No genie comin out of that bottle.

More to come as the new seasons of EPL, La Liga, Bundesliga, and Ligue 1 draw near (cuz really, who gives a shit anymore about the Italians), but all I can say at this point, is that it has been an amazing 12 months of soccer, and I hope to document the upcoming 12 months to the best of my ability.

 
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Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

I’m back

So I checked back in here after a long hiatus brought on by the stresses of life. I genuinely enjoyed writing on this last year, but steadily become discouraged as this in itself became a stress. Thinking about the world of football has become so natural, and a large part of me, but I came to realize how easy it is to daydream and muse about it, versus actually putting down cogent thoughts on a blog. Fearing criticism of poor writing, it eventually turned from hobby to burden. What I imagined would only take half an hour a day turned into two-three hour endeavors to make sure whatever I wrote read well. So I stopped.

I logged in tonight out of curiosity, only to find a inbox with some 53 new messages. I was so shocked, and flattered at the comments and responses I had  received. There were actually people out there who had been kind enough to read my stuff. For those of you who indulged me in doing so, I cannot thank you enough for your insights and kind words.

It is in this spirit that I think maybe its time for me to do this again. I won’t strive so much for propriety or great penmanship from this point. It’s the only way I will continue to enjoy this and sustain a rare writing habit for a long time. Please check back in once in a while, and I hope that perhaps my perspective on this new upcoming football season will interest some of you. With much appreciation in advance – Darren.

 
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Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Uncategorized